We followed the map until eventually we pulled out onto Queen street. The Main Street in Auckland’s city centre, Queen street was awash with pedestrians and one way roads and pathways. We quickly deducted that the second buyers hostel was located just up ahead on a narrow road but as we slowly ventured up through the traffic, it became apparent that we couldn’t drive onto the street. We veered off in a different direction and tried to tackle our destination for a second time. It proved to be no use. No matter which way we drove towards the hostel, one way streets and pedestrianised zones blocked our path. Eventually, we gave up trying and parked on double yellow lines a few streets over. We put our hazard indicators on and texted the buyers. We told them where we were and sat back and waited. The time groaned passed slowly as we waited for our potential buyers to arrive.
“I could see that glint in their eye. A glint of hope. A glint of realisation”
Suddenly, a young couple appeared in the rear view mirror. They stood on the corner of the path no less than 200 metres down the road and they were doing something funny. They were scratching their heads. “That looks like them”, I said to Ciara as I stepped out of the car and began to wave in the couple’s direction. “At least I hope it is”, I muttered out of the corner of my mouth as the couple noticed my flailing arms and nodded in my direction.
As I walked towards them I noticed that they looked extremely apprehensive. It was as if they had no idea what they were expecting to see. One of the problems with trying to sell a vehicle to a backpacker is that 9 times out of 10, they probably won’t speak English. This was one of those times. As it turned out, the two backpackers standing before me had viewed our advertisement on an online notice board that had not allowed us to post any pictures. In reading our description, they had misread the word ‘car’ and had mistaken it for the word ‘van’. My heart dropped as I realised this fact.
“You thought this was a van?”, I asked as I tried to coax the couple over towards the car to get a closer look. Leading them up to the car only served to heighten their look of anxiety. Our car was in day mode. All the seats were in an upright position and the boot was filled with our belongings. That wouldn’t have mattered if the couple had not mistaken our car for a van in the description but seeing as they had done exactly that, they thought we were trying to sell them a cramped car with no sleeping quarters. They had no idea how the car transformed into a small studio apartment and I could tell by the look on their faces that I would probably never get to show them. I had to try.
“Get in, get in”, I said as I opened the back door and motioned with my arms. “We can’t stay here as we’re parked on double yellow lines but there’s a free car park just up the road where we can talk about the car”, I said as the couple looked at me trying to figure out what I had just said. They were French. Their English was poor and a shrivelled Irishman was trying to convince them to get into his car. I wouldn’t have done it if I were them. Thankfully, they got inside. “At least we have them inside”, I thought. “We have a fighting chance”.
At that, I turned on the engine and put the car into gear. I must have been more nervous than I thought. Nervous that I didn’t really know where I was going or nervous that to any passer by it had looked like I had just kidnapped a couple of innocent backpackers, I’m not sure. All I know was that in my nervousness, I missed the clutch with my foot, jerked out onto the road and completely cut out. “CHRIST!!”, I thought. “That’s not a good start”. I quickly restarted the engine, turned and giggled at the French backpackers and slowly drove off down the road. A second later, the free car park came into view. I indicated and pulled off the main road and into a vacant space. Once the engine was off, I got out of the car. I looked down at the ground and psyched myself up. “You’ve got one chance at trying to convince these backpackers. You have to try”, I firmly reassured myself. I gathered my thoughts, exhaled deeply and turned around to face the French couple.
“You wanted to buy a van didn’t you”, I asked. The couple nodded.”You don’t want a van”, I continued. “You want this car”. The two of them looked at each other in puzzlement. “Follow me”, I said. “Watch what this car can do”. Ciara and I then proceeded to empty the contents from the boot, drop the seats, roll out the sleeping bags and push the two front seats forwards. We couldn’t have done it any more fluidly. Yes we had perfected the art of transforming our car from day mode to night mode over the past few months but we had never done it so elegantly as we had just now. We were in the zone.
“Hop in”, I said to the French couple. “See for yourself”. They looked at each other once again and walked over to the car door. The girl climbed in slowly and apprehensively but once inside, began to beam from ear to ear. Next it was the guys turn. He climbed in after and lay down on one of the sleeping bags. “See?”, I said as the two of them lay down flat mentally taking notes of the dimensions of the car. “It’s a Space Wagon”, I said. “There’s more room inside there than you’d ever find inside a van. On top of all that”, I continued, “as it looks like a car on the outside, you can be guaranteed that you can stay anywhere without anyone noticing. Vans stand out like sore thumbs and the locals hate them. They know what lives inside vans. Us!!”, I exclaimed. “By travelling in a vehicle like this, nobody will bother you whatsoever. You’ll be free to go wherever you wish”. “There’s also one key fact about travelling in this type of vehicle”, I said as I leaned forward and peered inside the door. “It’s dirt cheap to run. Vans are really expensive”, I said as the couple looked on and nodded at every pause I gave them. This was a complete lie. Our car was not cheap to run at all. In fact, it was the opposite. Petrol had been the one thorn that had stuck in our sides throughout our entire time in this country but there was no way I was going to let this couple know that. “Not only is it cheaper to run this car than it is to run a van”, I continued. “It’s also a lot cheaper to bring it to the South Island”. “Vans cost $600 dollars to go on the ferry whereas this will only cost you $200″. This was a blatant lie if I had ever told one. Vans and cars cost pretty much the same for ferry travel. I looked at the couple as they took in all this information. Having only arrived in the country, I hoped they knew nothing and were really naive. It turned out they were.
“Uh ma guuuuuuuud”, the French girl gasped. “Ees zis true?”. I nodded reassuringly. “It is”, I said. “It really is”. She looked at her partner and shook her head in disbelief. “We a sooooo lucky”, she said. “Sank you for this information. Sank you so much”.
The couple climbed out of the car and began to walk around the circumference. It was working. They were definitely interested now. I could see that glint in their eye. A glint of hope. A glint of realisation. I needed to drive the idea home now. I took one look at the contents of the boot and knew immediately what to do.
I started sorting through the boxes and bags, pulling out the pots, pans, plates and cutlery. I glanced up to see if the French couple had heard my commotion. They had. A moment later the two of them were standing over me watching as I organised the contents of the boot out across the floor. “Will zis type of sings be very expenseef for us to buy in shops?”, the girl said as I pulled the portable cooker out of the box and opened it up in front of her. “Where will we find zese sings?”, she asked. “Find?”, I said. “You don’t need to find anything. All of this comes with the car”. “No”, she said in disbelief. “All of eet?”. “Yep”, I replied. “All of it”. Her eyes opened wide and she started to get really excited. She had no idea that all of this gear had only cost us a few dollars in a charity store. She looked like she had just won the lotto. We had them. I knew we did. All that was left now was for them to test drive the car. Just as we were about to get back in and go for a short spin, an American gentleman appeared from the other side of the car park carrying a box of goods. “Here”, he said to the French couple as he handed over the box. They took it and looked inside. It was filled with dried food, cereal, washing up liquid, sugar, salt, flour, juice and beer. “You can have this”, he said. “I’m leavin tomorrow and it’s no use to me anymore”. As he walked away I turned to the French couple and said; “That happens all the time. People are always giving you free stuff wherever you go”. I had to turn away as I finished that sentence. I was lying straight to their faces and I couldn’t bare to look at them. I had never seen anyone offer anything to anybody throughout our entire stay in the country. Usually, the opposite occurred. I was really starting to take advantage of this couple now and I still had one more curve ball to throw at them.
After a brief test drive, we parked the car in a nearby multi storey car park to discuss the deal. The couple asked if they could go off on their own for a little while to discuss their options and I completely agreed. Two minutes later, we received a text message. “We really want this car”, the text read. “How much will you sell it for”? “Well”, I replied. “$2,400 is a very good price but you give me an offer and we’ll take it from there”. A minute later, the phone beeped with a reply. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. “Yes”, the message began. “$2,400 is a very good price. We accept”. Their lack of English had caused them to misunderstand my previous message. Not realising that I had left the door wide open to a counter offer, they skipped right by it and settled on our asking price. We couldn’t believe it. Nine months previous, we had purchased the same vehicle for $400 cheaper and here we were all this time later about to sell it on for more than it was worth.
We quickly composed ourselves and replied to the text message. We didn’t want to get too ahead of ourselves. After all, chances were that the couple wouldn’t have that amount of money for another few days. We needn’t have worried. Two hours later, we walked out of the bank $2,400 richer. The couple may have been completely naive but they had come prepared. After a quick transfer of money, signing of documents and handing over of keys, the car was finally sold. The couple asked us if we would like a lift to our hostel but we gratefully declined the offer. There was no way we were ever going to let them find out where we were staying. The money had been handed over and the keys had been exchanged. Any problem that occurred from here on in was theirs to burden.
We giggled to each other excitedly as we left the French couple and walked off in search of our hostel. We had done it. We had survived as backpackers in New Zealand and now it was time to make the change back into tourists once more. “I’m buying a Playstation Vita”, I said to Ciara as we walked inside the front door of our hostel and prepared to check ourselves in. “You can have anything you want”, Ciara replied. “Anything at all”. We checked in and opened the door to our own private room a few minutes later. There it was. A bed. We had waited so long to see one and now our time had finally come. We dropped our bags onto the floor and fell face first onto the mattress. The wait was finally over. We had made it.∗
